The Danger of Suppressing God: Finding the Biblical Jesus Beyond the Noise

Jesus Beyond the Noise

I remember the smell of the West Texas dust hanging in the air, that peculiar scent of dry earth and impending rain that only folks from that part of the country truly understand. I was just a small boy, and the world seemed vast, mysterious, and vibrating with a power I couldn't yet name. Every night, my dad would call me over to the side of the bed. We didn't just mumble a few rote words and dive under the covers. No, we knelt. We felt the rough texture of the carpet against our knees and the weight of the silence in the room as we sought the Lord in family unison.

But as I grew older, that simple, foundational faith began to clash with a terrifying reality. I started experiencing things—supernatural things—that the world around me didn't have a category for. I encountered spiritual warfare that was terrifying to put it mildly, the kind of darkness that keeps a child paralyzed in the night. When I turned to the church for answers, I didn't find open arms or spiritual discernment; I found a wall of denial. They told me it was "all of the devil" or that I was just making things up to get attention.

This is the pain point so many of us face: we know the supernatural is real because we’ve felt it, seen it, or been hunted by it, yet the very institutions that should guide us often suppress the truth. This suppression leads to a dangerous drift. We start trying to hold the truth of God underwater like a well-aired basketball, hoping it won't pop up and disrupt our lives. We wander into the "all-accepting" arms of the New Age or Eastern religions, looking for the power we were denied in the pews. But there is a solution. It’s not found in crystals or tarot cards, and it’s not found in a dry, academic religion that denies the power of the Holy Spirit. The solution is a direct, spiritual relationship with the biblical Jesus.

My journey away from that bedside prayer was long and winding. I lived a life that would make the Prodigal Son blush. I wasn't just "exploring"; I was running. I dove headfirst into Buddhism, Scientology, and the deep thicket of the New Age movement. Why? Because they acknowledged the supernatural. They didn't blink when I talked about the prophetic or the spiritual realm. They welcomed those gifts, but then they poisoned them with deception.

I was suppressing the God of my youth, the one my dad talked about when he saw Jesus in the clouds over a small West Texas town. My grandmother, whom we called Mema used to tell me stories about seeing an angel on a cloud. These weren't "religious" people in the modern sense, but they knew the Lord. They understood that the heavens declare the glory of God. There is actually a famous photograph taken by a man in Hamlin, Texas, back in the '90s that captures a figure of Jesus in the clouds. It’s one of the most impactful images I’ve ever seen, and it reminds me that God is always reaching out, even when we are trying our hardest to look the other way. You can find more about these types of encounters and how to discern them in my book, OPEN YOUR EYES.

During my years as a fugitive from grace, I felt like I was constantly trying to submerge a basketball in a swimming pool. You know how that works? You use all your strength to push that ball down, but the deeper you push it, the more it wants to scream toward the surface. That was the voice of the Good Shepherd in my life. I would try to drown it out with partying, with Eastern philosophy, with the "dead ends" of the New Age, but the moment my guard dropped, that truth would bob right back up.

The works of the LORD are great, sought out of all them that have pleasure therein (Psalm 111:2 KJV).

I remember one specific afternoon in my early twenties. I was driving down a highway, my mind a chaotic mess of New Age "wisdom" and personal rebellion. Suddenly, the reality of a massive oil tanker loomed in my windshield. It was one of those moments where time slows down to a crawl. I wasn't crying out to Buddha. I didn't reach for a crystal. In that split second of impending death, the basketball of truth burst through the surface. I cried out to God.

Miraculously, I wasn't crushed. In fact, that happened twice with oil tankers. It was as if God was saying, "You can pretend I don't exist in the sunshine, but you know exactly who I am in the storm." I was tempting the Lord, putting myself in precarious situations just to see how He’d get me out. I was arrogant, thinking I was invincible, and I had even developed this dangerous "deathbed doctrine"—the idea that I could party my life away and just whisper "Jesus" with my last breath. But God isn't mocked. He began to show me that while He was saving my body from wrecks, I was losing my soul to a monster.

Personal Reflections

I had to face the man in the mirror, and I didn't like what I saw. On the outside, things looked fine to the world, but inside, I was becoming corrupt. I was disconnected from the Vine. I had lost that innocent boy who knelt by the bed. I was becoming a person I couldn't stand, passing that invisible "point of no return" that Jesus warns us about.

I remember the day I finally hit what many call "rock bottom." It wasn't a physical threat this time; it was a spiritual one. I was in my living room, and the weight of my suppression became too heavy to bear. I realized I couldn't keep running like Jonah. I fell to my knees—not because my dad told me to, but because my soul required it. I told the Lord, "I need to know if You are real, and I need to know now."

The Lord didn't show up in the clouds that day, but He manifested in that room. He met me not as a textbook figure, but as a living Savior. He saved me from the monster I was becoming. This is why I am so passionate about spiritual warfare and why I wrote Overcoming Night Terror. We cannot keep these things secret in the church. People are suffering, getting sick, and dying because we are afraid to talk about the weapons of our warfare.

For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds (2 Corinthians 10:4 KJV).

I missed it for years because I let the "experts" in the church convince me that my experiences weren't valid. I allowed the carnal mind to dictate my spiritual reality. But Jesus is faithful. Even when we are faithless, He remains faithful. He gave me space to repent, just as He gives us all space, but we must not take that grace for granted.

Biblical References

The Bible is the "super duper natural" book, and it is the only safe anchor for our experiences. When we try to suppress the truth of God, we are essentially acting out the tragedy described in the first chapter of Romans. We hold the truth in unrighteousness, but the creation itself leaves us without excuse.

For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who hold the truth in unrighteousness; Because that which may be known of God is manifest in them; for God hath shewed it unto them (Romans 1:18-19 KJV).

That "holding the truth in unrighteousness" is exactly like the basketball under the water. We know it’s there. We can feel the pressure of it against our palms. But we choose to keep it down because the truth requires something of us—it requires our whole lives.

Jesus also spoke about the intimate connection between obedience and manifestation. Many people want a "supernatural experience" without a relationship, but Jesus links the two:

He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him (John 14:21 KJV).

When I finally stopped suppressing Him and started seeking Him through the lens of His Word, the manifestations began to happen in a way that brought peace instead of terror. My sheep know my voice, He said. That voice had been calling me since those nights in West Texas, through the oil tanker scares, and through the dark nights of the soul in Eastern religions.

My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me (John 10:27 KJV).

If you’ve been running, if you’ve been told your spiritual experiences aren't "biblical" by people who don't even believe in the power of the Holy Spirit, I want to encourage you: don't let the representatives of Jesus keep you from the Person of Jesus.

Key Takeaways

• Don't Suppress the Truth: Holding your spiritual convictions "underwater" takes an immense amount of energy and will eventually fail.
• The Church's Failure is Not God's Failure: Just because some leaders deny the supernatural doesn't mean the biblical Jesus isn't the Lord of the supernatural realm.
• Dangers of the New Age: Seeking the supernatural without the Holy Spirit leads to dead ends and spiritual deception.
• Parental Foundation: Training a child in the way he should go creates a "spiritual memory" that God can use to pull them back later in life.
• Manifestation Requires Relationship: Jesus manifests Himself to those who love Him and keep His commandments.

Conclusion and Call to Action

Are you playing "patty cake" with God’s call on your life? Are you prioritizing your carnal comfort over the destiny He has written for you? It is time to let that basketball pop to the surface. It is time to stop pretending that you can manage your life better than the Creator of the universe.

God wants your whole life. He didn't pay a partial price at Calvary; He paid it all. You were bought with a price, and your life is not your own. I invite you to stop running. Fall on your knees today and ask Him to manifest Himself to you.

If this message has touched your heart or if you’ve struggled with these same issues, I’d love to hear from you. Please visit me at ConradRocks.net, where you can find more podcasts and articles on digging deeper and going higher in your relationship with the Lord. Share this post with someone who might be running from God—you never know when they might be facing their own "oil tanker" moment.

Action Items

• Identify Your "Basketball": Spend ten minutes in silence today. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you what truth you are currently trying to suppress or hide from.
• Return to the Word: Read John chapter 14 and 15 this week. Focus on what it means to "abide" in the Vine and how that prevents the "monster" of the carnal self from taking over.
• Seek Godly Counsel: If you are experiencing spiritual warfare, don't hide it. Reach out to a believer who understands the supernatural power of the name of Jesus.
• Intercede for the Prodigals: Think of one person you know who is currently "running" and pray for God to bring the "basketball" of their childhood faith back to the surface.
• Examine Your Doctrine: Reject the "deathbed conversion" mentality. Commit to serving the Lord with your strength now, while it is called today.