EX - Jehovah's Witness Louisa McLeish
I didn't have to wait long. My friend Louisa McLeish stepped up to the plate. As we hopped on a call for an episode of Coffee with Conrad, I realized quickly that this wasn't just going to be a dry theological discussion. This was a story of a heart being shattered and then meticulously put back together by the hands of a loving Father.
You see, many of us take our spiritual freedom for granted. We walk into churches, we read our Bibles, and we pray to Jesus without a second thought. But for someone like Louisa, every single one of those acts was once a forbidden fruit or a scripted performance. She lived in a world where God was a distant, exacting taskmaster, and "truth" was whatever a committee in New York decided it was that month.
The pain point for so many in these systems—and maybe for you today—is the crushing weight of "doing." You’re running on a treadmill of works, trying to earn a love that should be free. You feel the agitation of a hollow spirit, a relationship with a "God" who doesn't talk back, and a community that will delete you the moment you ask a "why" they can't answer.
But there is a solution. There is a Jesus who is alive, who still heals, and who wants a direct, supernatural relationship with you. Louisa found Him, and her journey from a broken jaw and a broken soul to a radical life of grace is exactly what we’re diving into today.
Louisa’s story began when she was just five years old. Imagine being a child, barely understanding the world, and suddenly the lights go out on everything festive. No more birthdays. No more Christmas. Her mother and stepfather had been drawn into the Jehovah’s Witnesses during a time of struggle. That’s how these groups often work; they look for the lonely, the rejected, and the neglected. They offer a community that feels like a warm blanket, but eventually, you realize that blanket is actually a straitjacket.
"It was all I really knew," Louisa told me. Growing up in the UK, she watched her cousins and uncles celebrating, opening gifts, and sharing joy, while she stood on the outside looking in. She was told these things were pagan, that they were wrong. As a human being looking to establish yourself, being told you can't even play with "worldly" kids or go to college creates a massive internal rift. You’re looking for God, but all you find are rules.
One of the most harrowing parts of Louisa’s testimony involves her stepfather. He was a "Ministerial Servant" in the congregation—a man of supposedly impeccable standard. Yet, behind closed doors, the "love of God" he claimed to possess manifested as brutal violence. He would beat Louisa and her mother, once even breaking Louisa’s jaw.
The man's household must obey him, they would say, twisting scriptures like those in 1 Timothy or James to justify a regime of terror. If there was sin or rebellion in the home, you hid it. You put on your Sunday best, you straightened your tie or smoothed your dress, and you went to the Kingdom Hall to worship a God you didn't understand because your earthly "example" of a father was a monster.
This is the "closed-loop" system of the Watchtower. You aren't allowed to talk to outsiders. You aren't allowed to seek help from the "world." If you report abuse to the elders, they often handle it internally—which really means they bury it to protect the organization's reputation. Louisa lived in this pressure cooker for over a decade.
She tried to be the perfect Witness. She aimed to be an "Auxiliary Pioneer," which meant putting in 60 hours a month on the streets, knocking on doors, and handing out Watchtower and Awake magazines. It was all works-orientated. "God’s going to love me if I do this," she thought. But the Holy Spirit was nowhere to be found. In the Jehovah's Witness world, the Holy Spirit isn't a person or a Comforter; it’s just God’s "active force," like electricity. You can't have a relationship with electricity.
Louisa knew God was real from a young age because she had supernatural encounters—she saw angels and even had run-ins with the demonic. But her religion had no room for the supernatural. They didn't understand the gifts of the Spirit or the reality of a living Jesus. For Louisa, having these experiences without a biblical framework was terrifying and confusing.
The breaking point—literally—came when she was sixteen. After her stepfather shattered her jaw in one final beating, something snapped. Her eyes opened. She realized that the God of the Watchtower wasn't her Father. She left home, she left the religion, and she was promptly "disfellowshipped."
In that world, being disfellowshipped is a social death sentence. You lose every friend. You lose your family. Your mother or son is forbidden from speaking to you. Louisa spent the next ten years having nightmares about "going to hell in a wheelbarrow" because the Watchtower had drilled into her that Armageddon was coming and only they would survive.
But Jesus had a different plan. He wasn't waiting for her with a checklist of rules; He was waiting with a gift of healing that no amount of door-knocking could ever buy.
Personal Reflections
As I listened to Louisa, I couldn't help but think about how many people are sitting in pews—or Kingdom Halls—striving for a "perfection" that Jesus already achieved for them. I’ve had my own moments where I leaned too hard on my own understanding or tried to "work" my way into God's favor. But Jesus always corrects us with His presence, not just His precepts.
Louisa’s "Epiphany" didn't happen in a classroom or through a theological debate. It happened through a demonstration of power. At 18, she was diagnosed with Lupus and told she could never have children. She was a non-believer at the time, but her mother (who had become born-again) dragged her to a tent meeting.
When the minister called for those who couldn't have children to come forward, Louisa was pushed to the front. She didn't even want to be there. But the Holy Spirit doesn't need your permission to be merciful. She fell under the power of God—what some call being "slain in the Spirit"—and stayed there for twenty minutes.
She got up, went about her life, got pregnant, and found out her Lupus was completely gone. The doctors were baffled. I love this because it shows that Jesus is interested in the person, not just the "convert." He healed her while she was still a "sinner in the world" to show her His goodness.
Years later, sitting on her living room floor in England after a national tragedy had shaken her to the core, she cried out, "God, if you are real, reveal yourself!" In that moment, the love of God invaded her room. No Watchtower, no magazines, no elders—just Louisa and the King of Kings.
I’ve learned in my own walk that we often over-complicate the Gospel. We think we need the right "translation" or the right "organization," but what we need is the Spirit of Truth. Jesus said the Spirit would guide us into all truth. When the real Jesus steps into the room, the counterfeit has to leave.
Biblical References
The Jehovah’s Witnesses use a specific translation called the New World Translation (NWT). One of the most famous changes they made is in the very first verse of the Gospel of John. While the KJV says, In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God (John 1:1 KJV), the NWT adds a tiny "a"—saying the Word was "a god."
This isn't just a grammar issue; it’s a direct attack on the deity of Jesus. They believe Jesus is a created being, perhaps Michael the Archangel. But when you encounter Him, you realize He is the Great I Am.
They also struggle with the concept of the Cross. They insist Jesus died on a "torture stake," a single upright pole. While they argue over the shape of the wood, they miss the power of the blood shed upon it. The scripture tells us:
Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed. (1 Peter 2:24 KJV)
Whether you call it a tree, a stake, or a cross, the point is that He bore our sins. The Witnesses are so caught up in the "works" of their religion that they miss the finished work of the Savior. They believe only 144,000 people go to heaven, while the rest stay on a "paradise earth." They base this on a very literal and selective reading of Revelation. Yet, Jesus said:
Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life. (John 5:24 KJV)
There isn't a "two-tier" system for believers in the eyes of God. We are all called to be sons and daughters. Louisa found that "Abba" Father relationship that the Watchtower had replaced with a cold, corporate structure.
She also found peace with her own origin. Being born of a tragic circumstance (her mother was raped), she struggled with her worth. But the Word of God healed that too:
I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. (Psalm 139:14 KJV)
Key Takeaways
- Relationship Over Religion: Jesus wants a direct connection with you, not one filtered through an organization or a specific "society."
- The Holy Spirit is Real: He is our Comforter and Guide. He doesn't just give us "force"; He gives us His presence.
- Grace is a Gift: You cannot earn God’s love by knocking on doors or hitting a "quota" of hours. It is by grace you are saved.
- Jesus is God: Any teaching that demotes Jesus to "a god" or a mere angel is missing the central truth of the Gospel.
- Healing is for Today: Whether it’s Lupus or a broken heart, the same Jesus who healed in the Bible is healing people right now.
Conclusion and Call to Action
Louisa’s journey reminds us that no matter how deep the indoctrination or how heavy the chains of "shunning" and abuse, the light of the real Jesus can pierce through. She went from being a girl with a broken jaw and a terrified soul to a woman with four "miracle" children and a heart on fire for the Gospel.
If you are struggling with "night terrors" or the feeling that you are being hunted by the demonic—as Louisa felt in her childhood—I want to encourage you to check out my book Overcoming Night Terror: Making the Demons Leave . There is authority in the name of Jesus that every "cult" and every demon must obey.
Don't let a religion keep you from your Father. Don't let works keep you from grace. Jesus is standing at the door of your heart, just like He was for Louisa on that living room floor in England. He doesn't want your magazines; He wants you.
I’d love to hear your thoughts. Have you ever felt trapped by religious rules? Have you experienced the healing power of Jesus? Drop a comment below or find me on ConradRocks.net. Let’s keep this conversation going.
Action Items
- Identify the "Checklist": Write down any "rules" you feel you must follow to make God love you. Bring that list to Jesus and ask Him to show you the truth of His grace.
- Seek the Comforter: Spend ten minutes in quiet prayer today, not asking for things, but simply asking the Holy Spirit to reveal the Father’s love to you.
- Read John 1 in the KJV: Meditate on the first chapter of the Gospel of John. Ask the Lord to illuminate the reality of Jesus' deity to your spirit.
- Share a Testimony: Think of one person who is struggling with "religious" baggage and share Louisa’s story with them. You never know whose chains might break.
- Dig Deeper: Check out the "Testimonies" section on ConradRocks.net to hear more stories of people encountering the living God.
Until we meet again, dig deeper and go higher! God bless you.
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