From Serving Mammon to Living by Faith - Testiomny

Have you ever felt like you were pushing a basketball under the water, using every ounce of your strength just to keep something submerged? That is exactly what it felt like for years as I tried to suppress the voice of God in my life. I was chasing the American Dream with a vengeance, fueled by a bruised ego and a desperate need for recognition. I thought that if I could just make enough money, if I could just reach the top of the mountain, I would finally be "somebody."

But here is the problem: the more I gained of the world, the more I lost of my soul. I was serving Mammon—the spirit of riches and greed—and it was eating me alive like a cancer. You might be in that same spot right now. Maybe you're grinding sixty hours a week, looking at your bank account, and wondering why you still feel so empty. Or perhaps you feel God calling you to step out in faith, but the fear of losing your "security" keeps you locked in a cubicle.

I’ve been there. I’ve lived in the penthouse with fifty employees and the boats and the cars, and I’ve lived in a single room with nothing but a Bible and a hunger for God. And I’m here to tell you that from the perspective of eternity, the outhouse with Jesus is infinitely better than the penthouse with Mammon. Today, I want to share my testimony of how I chose God over money and how shifting my mindset changed my life forever. If you want a deeper dive into the supernatural side of my walk, you can read more in my book OPEN YOUR EYES: MY SUPERNATURAL JOURNEY.

The Dagger that Sparked the Greed

This whole journey started back in high school. To make some extra cash, I worked after school as a janitor. I remember the smell of the floor wax and the heavy industrial towels I had to wash. One afternoon, I was deep in the gym, down on my hands and knees, scrubbing at one of those stubborn, black scuff marks that just wouldn't budge. I wasn't thinking much of it—just doing my job—until a classmate walked in and saw me.

He looked down at me with a smirk that I can still see to this day. He didn't just see a kid working; he saw someone he could belittle. He said, "Conrad Carriker, down on his knees for three dollars and thirty-five cents an hour."

That sentence hit me like a fiery dart from the enemy. It wasn't just a comment; it was a dagger in my ego. Right then and there, I made a vow in my heart. I determined that I was never going to be "ordinary" again. I was going to be successful. I was going to show him, and everyone else, that I was worth more than minimum wage. That moment shifted my hierarchy of values. Instead of seeking the Kingdom, I began seeking theROI—the Return on Investment.

Modeling Success and Serving the Wrong Master

I didn't go to college. Instead, I became a machine. I modeled successful people. I devoured books on hypnosis, neuro-linguistic programming (NLP), time management, and real estate. I even read Donald Trump's The Art of the Deal. By the age of 23, I had started my own business right off my coffee table. I was making a bunch of money, and for a while, it looked like I had the American Dream by the tail.

But the obsession with being the best was drowning out the Spirit. My dad had taught me to hear God's voice at a very early age. I used to go into the backyard as a young boy and just listen. I knew His voice, but as my bank account grew, my heart grew callous. Jesus said it clearly in the Sermon on the Mount: No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon (Matthew 6:24 KJV).

I was living proof of that verse. I became so good at manipulating the system and "winning" in sales that I stopped caring who I hurt. I knew what color furniture made employees more productive and what time of day was best to close a deal. I was successful by the world’s standards, but spiritually, I was dying. I turned to drugs and alcohol to soothe a conscience that wouldn't stop screaming at me. I was in a tailspin of severe depression, even thinking about ending it all.

The Living Room Encounter

God will sometimes allow things to get really bad so that we finally come to our senses. It's like the prodigal son in the pigpen. In 1995, my world finally came crashing down. The plates I was spinning began to shatter. I found myself right back where I started—on my knees—but this time it wasn't for $3.35 an hour. I was on my living room floor, crying out to the Living God.

In that encounter, Jesus gave me a new heart. He changed my desires. I realized that faith is the actual currency of heaven. I moved from a penthouse to a single room, but for the first time in a decade, I could breathe. I started going on long prayer walks, listening to that voice I had tried so hard to drown out. I learned that the Lord truly is my shepherd, and I shall not want (Psalm 23 KJV). He has always supplied my needs according to His riches in glory.

Personal Reflections

Looking back, I realize that my ambition was a "black cloud" that occluded my spiritual vision. I was so focused on building my own kingdom that I completely ignored the King. I missed it by thinking that financial security was the same thing as God’s blessing.

One thing that came back to me after my conversion was a memory of my grandfather, whom I called Dedad. He was a noble man, a straight shooter who worked the oil pump jacks in West Texas. My great-grandfather had been a wealthy entrepreneur, and Dedad tried to follow in those footsteps, but he always hit a ceiling. One day, he told my grandmother, "Mama, I don't think God wants me to be rich."

At the time, with my Mammon-obsessed mind, I probably would have thought he was just making excuses. But after my world fell apart, I understood exactly what he meant. God didn't want him—or me—to be "rich" toward the world and poor toward God. He wanted us to have integrity, to be honest, and to depend on Him. Dedad used to catch me trying to breathe at the same pace as him when I was a little boy, laying my head on his chest. I wanted to be like him. In the end, God made sure I was—not by making me a millionaire, but by making me a man who knows the Lord.

Biblical References

The Bible is uncompromising when it comes to the competition between God and money. I had to learn the hard way that the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows (1 Timothy 6:10 KJV). I was definitely piercing myself with those sorrows during my "successful" years.

When I met Jesus on that floor in '95, it was a fulfillment of the promise in Ezekiel: A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh (Ezekiel 36:26 KJV). My heart had become like stone through greed, but He made it soft again.

I also had to embrace the reality that the just shall live by faith (Romans 1:17 KJV). Living by faith doesn't mean you won't have trials; it means you have a Provider who is more reliable than any bank. Just as Joseph said to his brothers, But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good (Genesis 50:20 KJV), I can say that the classmate who mocked me intended evil, but God eventually used that drive he sparked to lead me to the end of myself and into the arms of Jesus.

Key Takeaways

• Mammon is a jealous master. You cannot give 100% to your bank account and 100% to Jesus at the same time.
• Ambition can be a spiritual cancer. If your "drive" requires you to step on others or suppress God's voice, it’s not from Him.
• God provides the real security. Moving from a penthouse to a room felt like a failure to the world, but it was the start of a miraculous life where God meets every need.
• Faith is the currency of Heaven. Learning to walk by the Spirit is worth more than any ROI a business model can give you.

Conclusion and Call to Action

Friend, where is your heart today? Are you scrubbing the floor of your life, desperately trying to prove your worth to people who don't even matter? Or are you on your knees before the Father, ready to receive a new heart? Don't wait for your world to crash before you start listening. The voice of God is calling you back to a relationship, not a set of rules or a business plan.

If you're struggling with spiritual attacks or fear as you try to step out in faith, I highly recommend checking out my book Overcoming Night Terror: Making the Demons Leave. It deals with the authority we have in Jesus over the darkness that tries to keep us bound.

I want to thank you for being in my life and for joining me for this "coffee" session. If this testimony touched you, please share it with your friends and family. Until we meet again, keep digging deeper and going higher in your walk with God!

Action Items

• Audit your "masters": Take an honest look at your schedule and your thoughts. Is your "wake up, morning, noon, and night" obsession with God or with making it in the world?
• Practice the "Quiet Check": Spend 15 minutes today in total silence. Don't ask for things; just listen for that voice you might be suppressing.
• Identify your "Daggers": Think about a comment or event that hurt your ego in the past. Ask God if that hurt has fueled a worldly ambition that is currently hindering your spiritual growth.
• Take a Prayer Walk: Get out of your office or house and walk. Talk to Jesus as a person, not a distant deity, and ask Him to show you where you've been serving Mammon.