Wanting Jesus: Why Your Spiritual Fire Depends on an Encounter, Not an Agenda

Do You Want Jesus?

The sun was just starting to peek through the blinds, casting long, golden fingers across my desk as the smell of fresh-ground coffee filled the room. It is a quiet moment, one of those rare slivers of time before the digital world wakes up and starts demanding my attention. I sat there, cradling a warm mug, listening to the U-Version audio Bible. We are going through the Word in a year, and there is something about hearing the scriptures poured out in the early hours that prepares the soul for the day’s battle.

But I’ll be honest with you—even in those moments, the "Martha" in me starts to stir. My mind begins to drift toward the list: the Voxer messages waiting for a reply, the Instagram notifications from brothers and sisters in Kenya and Vietnam, the Facebook posts that need a spiritual touch. We live in a world that prizes "doing" over "being," and if we aren't careful, even our ministry can become a distraction from the Minister Himself.

Have you ever felt like Jesus was in the backseat of your life? You’re driving, you’re navigating, and you’re even talking about Him to the passengers, but He isn’t the one behind the wheel. We check our boxes. We read our chapters. We say our prayers. Yet, there’s a nagging dryness in the spirit, a sense that we are running on fumes. We are agitated by the storm, much like Martha was in her kitchen, while the solution—the only thing that matters—is sitting right there in the living room, waiting for us to stop and listen.

I want to talk to you today about the difference between having a religion and having an encounter. I want to explore what it means to actually want Jesus, not just because we are supposed to, but because we have tasted and seen that the Lord is good. In this post, we are going to dive into how to move from a "have to" faith to a "want to" fire, and I’ll share some stories from the front lines of digital and real-world ministry that illustrate exactly how the Holy Spirit is moving today.

The Power of the Living Testimony

As the caffeine finally started kicking in, I moved over to my computer. Susan had already headed off to work, and the house was quiet. I opened up Voxer and saw about twenty messages from the overnight hours. I love this part of my day. I often listen to them at four times the speed just to catch up, hearing the voices of people praying for one another, sharing their victories, and sometimes their deep heartaches.

I noticed a flood of messages on Instagram. One particular testimony stopped me in my tracks. A lady reached out to share how her husband had been unfaithful—and I don't just mean a one-time mistake. He had a whole second life, another relationship that resulted in children. This is the kind of stuff you see on daytime talk shows, the kind of betrayal that destroys most people. But instead of reaching for divorce papers, she sought Godly counsel. She chose to believe for the restoration of her marriage.

She told me how God moved. It wasn't an overnight fix, and it wasn't easy, but the supernatural power of Jesus Christ stepped into that brokenness and healed it. That is a testimony.

When I engage with atheists or skeptics on Twitter or Facebook, they always want to drag me into the realm of intellectual gymnastics. They want to argue about "if this, then that," trying to trap the spirit in the carnal mind. But do you know what truly changes people? It isn't a clever argument; it’s a testimony of what Jesus has done.

And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death. (Revelation 12:11).

I’ve seen it time and again on ConradRocks.net. Whether it's someone in Vietnam who has survived horrors we can barely imagine in America, or someone in the States who has been delivered from the grip of addiction, the power is in the encounter. People in third-world countries often have a different perspective. In America, we often deal with "self-inflicted" trials, but abroad, I talk to people who have suffered through things entirely out of their control. Yet, their fire for Jesus puts many of us to shame. Why? Because they know He is their only hope. They don't just know about Him; they want Him.

The Inner Circle and the Prophetic Pulse

While I was scrolling through Facebook, I started looking at my "Inner Circle" list. You see, Jesus had the multitudes, then He had the seventy, then the twelve, and finally the three: Peter, James, and John. These were the ones who were the most intimate with Him. In ministry, we have to follow that model. I meet thousands of people online, but there are a few that the Lord "lights up" for me.

Yesterday, I had several direct messages from people suffering from night terrors. If you’ve read my book, Overcoming Night Terror, or seen my testimony on YouTube, you know that this is a subject close to my heart. These are real demonic attacks that leave people paralyzed with fear. Most people are afraid to talk about it because it sounds "crazy," but when you’ve been through it, you recognize the spiritual signature of the enemy.

I don't want to lose track of these folks. I put them in a specific list so I can keep tabs on them and disciple them. We cannot just have one-off conversations and expect people to grow. We have to be fishers of men, and sometimes that means staying with the fish until they are safely in the boat.

I remember pacing across my lawn, trying to hit my 10,000 steps for the day, while on the phone with a brother whose post was stirring up some controversy. We talked for thirty minutes about how even Jesus stirred things up. The Pharisees were always watching, always waiting to pounce. But Jesus didn't argue to win an intellectual debate; He spoke for the sake of those listening—the ones whose hearts were ripe for an encounter.

We have to be careful not to take the stance of the older brother in the story of the Prodigal Son. He was so caught up in his own "faithfulness" and his "doing" that he forgot how to love. He didn't want to go into the house because his brother was back.

And he was angry, and would not go in: therefore came his father out, and intreated him. (Luke 15:28).

If we find ourselves replying to people in anger on social media, we’ve already lost. Faith works by love. If I’m angry, I’ll go take a shower and cool off before I hit "reply." We must be led by the Spirit, not our bruised egos.

The Cowboys and the Covenant

I was talking to my friend Garry Nesbitt recently, and he told me a story that really illustrates the problem we face in the modern church. A pastor was talking to his youth group about the Dallas Cowboys. These kids could name every player, recite every Super Bowl win, and tell you every stat from the last decade. They spent hours pursuing that knowledge because they loved the team.

But when that same pastor asked them to explain the difference between the Old and New Covenant? Silence.

When he asked them to name the Apostles? Crickets.

The Ten Commandments? They couldn't do it.

We cannot make people love Jesus. You can't guilt someone into a relationship. But when you have an encounter, the guilt disappears and the fire begins. Think about the woman at the well. She didn't go to seminary. She didn't have a marketing plan. She had a conversation with a Man who told her everything she ever did, and she ran back to the city on fire.

The demoniac at Gadara didn't need a "how-to" manual on evangelism. He was delivered from a legion of demons and immediately wanted to follow Jesus. Jesus told him to go home and tell his friends what great things the Lord had done. That’s the "want to."

If we have more passion for a football team or a hobby than we do for the Word of God, we have to ask ourselves: Have we actually encountered the living Jesus lately, or are we just maintaining a religious hobby?

Personal Reflections

I’ll be the first to admit that I get distracted. Just the other day, as I was dealing with emails and Voxer messages, I saw a turtle crawling across my lawn. My first instinct wasn't to thank God for His creation—it was to think, "I should take a picture of that for Instagram."

We get so caught up in the "Martha" side of things—the serving, the posting, the "real world" stuff like the house and the cat—that we forget to be "Mary." Mary sat at His feet. She ignored the chores and the expectations of others to simply be with Him.

But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her. (Luke 10:42).

I’ve had to learn that Jesus shouldn't just be "in" my time; He must be the Lord of my time. My friend Steph Barrett from Holy Fire Japan said something that changed my perspective. He compared our time with God to a marriage. You don't ask a husband, "How many minutes did you block out to talk to your wife today?" If the relationship is healthy, the whole day revolves around that bond. It’s a relationship, not a schedule.

When I feel myself withering, when I feel that "burn out" starting to creep in, I know I’ve stopped abiding. If we don't abide in the Vine, we wither. It’s a spiritual law. I don't want to be a branch that is cast forth and burned. I want to be the one whose life is so intertwined with His that His fruit comes out of me naturally.

Biblical References

The core of everything I teach at ConradRocks.net comes down to this: Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me. I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing. (John 15:4-5).

If you are trying to "do" for God without "abiding" in God, you are essentially trying to tie apples onto a dead stick and calling it an orchard. It doesn't work. The power comes from the connection.

When we have that connection, the Word becomes a fire. Jeremiah knew what this was like. He tried to stay quiet, he tried to stop talking about the Lord because of the persecution he faced, but he couldn't do it.

Then I said, I will not make mention of him, nor speak any more in his name. But his word was in mine heart as a burning fire shut up in my bones, and I was weary with forbearing, and I could not stay. (Jeremiah 20:9 KJV).

That is the "want to" that I’m talking about. It’s the same fire that drove the Apostle Paul. Before his encounter on the road to Damascus, he was a religious expert. He knew the scriptures intellectually, but he was killing the very people who followed the Author. Once he had that encounter, he realized that everything he once prized was "dung" compared to the excellence of knowing Christ.

Key Takeaways

• Encounter over Intellect: A personal testimony of what Jesus has done is more powerful than any logical argument.
• Abiding is Mandatory: Without a daily, intimate connection to the Vine, our spiritual life will inevitably wither and burn out.
• Relationship vs. Religion: God doesn't want your "blocked out time"; He wants to be the Lord of your entire life, much like a healthy marriage.
• The "Want To" Fire: True evangelism isn't forced; it is the natural overflow of an encounter with the living God.
• Watchful Prayer: Early morning is the best time to pray before the carnal mind starts fighting the Spirit.

Conclusion and Call to Action

Friend, do you want Jesus?

If you find that the desire isn't there—if you find yourself more excited about the Dallas Cowboys or your latest Netflix binge than you are about the things of God—it’s time to examine where you are in the faith. Don't settle for a "backseat" Jesus. He wants to lead. He wants to heal those night terrors, restore those marriages, and set your soul on fire.

If you are struggling with spiritual attacks or feel like your eyes are closed to the supernatural realm, I encourage you to check out my books, OPEN YOUR EYES and Overcoming Night Terror. They are designed to help you navigate these spiritual waters and find the freedom that only comes through a relationship with the biblical Jesus.

Please share this post with your friends and family on social media. We need to spread the news that Jesus is still saving, healing, and delivering today!

Dig deeper and go higher. God bless you.

Action Items

• Start an Audio Bible Plan: Use an app like U-Version to listen to the Word daily. Try to go through the entire Bible in a year to see the full "Covenant" story.
• Identify Your "Inner Circle": Look at your social media or local church and identify 2-3 people you can actively disciple or encourage this week.
• Practice "Mary" Moments: Set aside 15 minutes today to sit in silence at the feet of Jesus. No agenda, no prayer list—just abiding in His presence.
• Share Your Testimony: Write down a 2-minute version of what Jesus has done for you and post it on one of your social media profiles this week.
• Check Your Reaction: Next time you feel angry about a post or a comment online, take a "spiritual shower." Pray and wait for the Spirit's lead before you respond.